OVER NINE THOUSAND!
by LurkerLordX
Summary: just a mash up of IPs to poke fun at DBZ.
1. Chapter 1

Over 9,000!

This started as a small joke in my head (Vegetta as a business man) and expanded out to this entire little story, enjoy.

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It was a sunny day as two business men made a casual stroll down the street. The larger of the two was built like a brick wall, a small scree hovered over one eye, attacked to a ceramic box that covered one ear. He was ball and had his nose buried in a manga depicting a orange suited martial artists throwing a energy ball at some blue skinned alien.

"Hey Vegetta," the larger man said, "have you checked your email yet?"

The other man was much smaller, his hair reached skyward in a wild pine tree shape, he two had a scanner over one eye.

"I'll do that now Nappa," he said casually as the screen flicked a moment, his jaw hung loose as he stopped cold.

The larger man, Nappa, stopped as well and turned back to Vegetta, "Vegetta?"

"It's over 9,000!" Vegetta's voice a low whisper.

"What?" Nappa said in disbelieve, "That's not possible." The screen on Nappa's scanner flickered and his jaw hit the floor, "It's over nine THOUSAND!"

Vegetta growled taking the scanner in hand and crushing it in frustration

"Apparently not even Kakarot's Kamehameha wave can stop them!"

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A white van pulled up to the side of a nondescript building, a blue wave of energy painted on one side, the words "Kamehameha" scrawled over it as three men in suits and mirror shades leaps out of the back. One had a wild mess of black hair, the smaller member of the group was bald, six dots printed on his brow while the third figure had green skin and white a white and purple turban on his head. The quickly kicked in the door as they charged inside.

"Stay sharp," the smaller man said, "These Spammers are resourceful."

"Right Krillian!" the wild haired man nodded, "I'll take point, Piccolo: Cover me. Eyes sharp Krillian."

The other two nodded, but as they kicked in the door to the next room they paused, as far as they could see through the expansive chamber were dozen of armored robots. As soon as the three agent appeared through the door the robots turned toward them, each one marked with a small hourglass insignia on their right breast, a white R in each half.

Krillian growled, "Dr. Gerro." after a quick pause he reached into his jacket pulling out a odd device that looked like a Frisbee launcher or duel disc and strapped it to his right arm. Piccolo was next, pulling out of seemingly nowhere a massive silver cannon straight out of a sci-fi flick. The last figure, Goku pill a minuscule pea shooter out of his inside pocket. He stepped in front of his partners, a cocky grin on his face.

"I have this! Kamehameha!" a corona of light bust from the nose of the tiny weapon Obliterating most of the robot forces in one instant.

The agent's advanced, one robot closing the distance to Piccolo he turned quickly and fired his weapon, a corkscrew spiral of energy shot from the weapon, orbiting a central main beam, "Special Beam Cannon!"

Four robots closed in on Krillian, his hand rising up as energy formed at the mouth of his weapon forming a golden disc above his palm that traced every movement his hand made, "Destructo Disc!"

the disc took flight slicing the robots in half before returning to Krillian's hand, hovering there as they advanced into the next room.

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The Three agents kicked in the door to the server room, hundreds of computers humming away as they stepped inside, their suits were a bit torn and their faces lightly battered. At the far end of the room a green figure, like a humanoid Cicada stood expectantly.

"Impressive display," the figure said with a smirk, "But you can not stop our Spam. There is no hope for you."

Piccolo narrowed his eyes, "W-Who are you?"

The figure just smirked, "My father, Dr. Gerro, named me Cell."

Cell moved with blinding speed, suddenly the three agents were on their knees, coughing blood, Cell loomed over them.

"What are you going to do now."

Goku smirked as he pit his right hand on Krillian's shoulder, Piccolo placing his right on Goku's as Goku presses his index and middle finger of his left hand to the transceiver in his ear.

"Gohan NOW!"

Before Cell could react Goku moved his left hand, pressing the same two finger to his brow and closing his eyes, a instant later he closed his eyes and was gone.

"What...how?" Cell gasped but then his gaze was drawn skyward, a bead of sweat tracing his face, "Now, that's not possible."

High over the earth a satellite waited, it's lone occupant was a young boy named Gohan, as his father voice came over the com link he moved to the control panel. Dr. Gerro's lab lighting up the screen as his finger press down firmly on a single, red, button.

A knife out of heaven pierced the sky, at first all it did was carve a inch wide hole from the roof of Gerro's lab to the basement. Then the energy beam pulsed, the beam expanded and the entire structure was consumed in white light.

Only debris remained as the light faded.

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"You nuked the site from orbit?" A agitated woman looked incredulously at Goku and his team.

"It was the only way to be sure." Goku protested.

"Sorry Lieutenant Ripley." Krillian offered.

Ripply sighed and waved her hand, "Dismissed."

The trio rose, heading for the exit, Ripply sighed, "I hate aliens..."

End


	2. Chapter 2

Over 9,000 Parody 2

Clad in jeans and a black teeshirt Nappa nodded warmly to the blue haired lady who let him inside.

"You're looking beautiful as always Bulma."

She smiled back and giggled, "Vegetta is in the family room, we just got a new satellite dish."

"It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!" they heard Vegetta cry out in shock.

Caught off guard the duo ran into the family room, Vegetta was shaking, his jaw hung open while he held out the remote toward their plasma screen, the remote shaking in his hand. Bulma put a comforting hand on her husband's shoulder while Nappa stood beside him. On the screen all he saw was a channel guide.

"Vegetta what's wrong?" Nappa said concerned.

"We have over nine thouuuuuuuuuuuuuuusaaaaaaaaand channels in HD!"

"What over nine thousand! That's impossible!" Nappa protested.

"Look," Vegetta moved to the couch, sitting down. "They even have broadcasts from Krypton and our home, Planet Vegetta."

"H-How is that possible." Nappa said joining his friend.

Bulma chuckled as she grabbed the manual that came with the satellite receiver, and joined the two on the couch. "Apparently the broadcasts reached Earth a couple years ago. They recorded and stored them and are rebroadcasting them now that they have a sufficient back log.

Nappa elbowed Vegetta lightly, "Hey you think they have "Legend of the Super Saiyan" on air. I heard it was a great documentary."

Vegetta tapped the remote a few times, "Let's see." after a moment he looked over at Nappa, "Not yet, but they do have a documentary on the Vegetta Royal Family."

"That should be interesting." Nappa comments.

"Turn up the volume!" Bulma gushes, "I've always been curious about your family history Vegetta."

"Then you better get comfortable Bulma," Vegetta said calmly, "We have over nine thousand years of history."

End


End file.
